We have been a little bit down this week. Someone asked me if it gets easier, dealing with what's happened, and I started to cry. It is so hard to portray the loss we feel. Put yourself in our shoes...would it be hard for you to not talk to your child for over 9 months? Would it be hard to not see him or her smile? Would it be hard to not know if they are in pain, feeling alone, scared or unloved? Would it be hard? Or would it get easier? My son wasn't born like this, nine months ago he could talk, walk, smile, laugh, hug, love.
We have become accustomed to his schedule and our lives revolving around his. We have become accustomed to the fact that we can never leave the house at the same time, or go anywhere together. We have become accustomed to the fact that we have no control over what happens to us, and we have become accustomed to the fact that we live by faith, love, and hope.
We miss our son and the joy he brought to our lives, I don't think that will ever get easier. Will life go on? It always does, but the emotional roller coaster we have been put through, I don't know if it will ever get easier... we'll just have to learn to live with it.
2 comments:
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!
Most people DONT know what you go through every second of every minute of everyday.
Thank you for sharing your highs and lows with us all. I cannot begin to fully understand everything you're going through. I will continue to pray for Billy and the rest of your family as always.
Love & hugs,
Ruth
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